Sunday, 4 November 2012

Week 33 and 34

A busy couple of weeks all things considered, thus the two in one blog update this week. Week 33 was the last week of half term. We survived our first parents evening for both boys, which went well. Nanny came and sat with the boys whilst we braved the school. Charlie's teacher looked a little bemused but over all says she is starting to feel she stands a chance of getting somewhere with him! She admitted that for the first few weeks she feared she would never get through to him, but now she's learning to let him help, and to accept the fact that sometimes he won't do what everyone else is doing, things are getting easier. I wish I had half her patience!

Joe's results couldn't have been more positive. His teacher reported that he's a changed character this term. She admitted that she had been apprehensive about having him in her class knowing that last term had been really difficult for him, but that in fact, he's really learnt to settle, he's no longer shouting out or going wondering and that he's much more one of the class. She says although he is behind the group in some respects, he's actually a bright little boy and with the right support and encouragement she really feels he can achieve good work. She says that his sulks and moments of hiding away are becoming less and less frequent and that he's really settled well within his peer group.

On Friday, we also had a meeting with the teaching and SEN staff at the school, together with the boys social worker, to discuss their Personal Education Plan (PEP) which all looked after children have to have completed each term. The boys have a new social worker who we've only actually seen once, and so it was frustrating that he turned up 20 minutes late and left before the meeting finished. It's a good job we don't feel we need his support! The PEP went well and it was a good chance for us to brief the boys new teachers on some of the details of their backgrounds, so that they can get a better understanding for why they are sometimes a bit different to the rest of the children.

On Saturday G went to work for the day and I had a great day with the boys, Joe had a birthday party to attend, and Charlie and I went out for lunch, we played in the park, made jam tarts and did some painting. I managed to keep my cool all day too which I was pleased with!

Week 34 was half term week and we packed up the car and headed up to the Cotswold's where we had rented a cottage for a few days together with my sister and her two children.

It was a lovely, relaxing week, log fires, red wine (for us not the kids!) and halloween treats! Grandma and Grandad came to visit for a day, we went to a farm, fed the animals and rode on tractors, and the boys loved having their older cousins to play with. Oh and we all spent the whole day of halloween in fancy dress!

The boys were really well behaved and enjoyed lots of down time, and it was a great break for G and me too. Admittedly not quite the sort of relaxation we are used to on our holidays of old, but a break nonetheless!

We came home Friday afternoon and on Saturday we took the boys for a long walk in the woods, followed by lunch out and then Joe had a party in the afternoon. Saturday evening we had friends round for hotdogs and toffee apples before heading off to a firework display.

I know I've said this on here before, but it's great to feel that we are creating our own special memories for the boys, already what went before is becoming less clear for them and I hear them replaying stuff that we've done with them.

Today we had a trip to Nanny's and the Charlie had his first class birthday party, something he's been excited about for 4 weeks! It was lovely to see him off with his own friends rather than tagging along with Joe, and he looked so cute sat with his new buddies! We also discovered that there's a little girl in his class who has two mummies, I'm really pleased about this as I think it will help him in a couple of years, to know that he's not the only person in a family that looks a little bit different to the norm.

The only thing I am really struggling with at the moment, is controlling my temper when the boys wind me up. I see other people that do really at staying calm and diverting, but sometimes I just feel a red mist, and I find my self really shouting at the boys and not handling things at all well. It's just happened tonight over something silly, it's normally when I am being completely ignored, which seems to be a fairly frequent occurrence. I know I need to keep calm, I know I need to divert and I know I need to not shout, but no matter how many times I tell myself this, I don't seem to be able to do it. I sometimes really hate hearing myself. I have no doubt that it bothers me far more than it does the boys, but I really need to find a method. All tips gratefully received!

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