It's unusual to hear about attachment disorder from 'the other side'
It took me a 17th try at a therapist and a lot of hard work but I eventually started to implicate the skills of a therapy known as DBT or dialectical behavioural therapy. It is difficult to receive and waiting times in my area were approximately 5 years. This therapy provided me with a person to page 24/7, a weekly 2 hour skills group and individual therapy. During my treatment my sons father whom I was engaged to left me 18 weeks pregnant due to believing I was drinking or using drugs during my pregnancy. I was left feeling abandoned and afraid- but I did have my therapist who kept drilling the dbt skills into my head- validating my feelings proved to be more Important then anyone could ever realize.
As I write this I am finished my treatment- I am also finished with the Children's Aid Society after beating them in court. I am also with my sons father- and I am still in very close contact with the person who helped me the most on my journey- my therapist-
As both a person who has suffered with the pain of the disorder and a parent of a child who has it I would like to acknowledge the many parents out there struggling to find services for their families- you are not alone- there are things you can do in the mean time. Firstly remember you need to take care of yourself- if you are not healthy, your child cannot be helped as well. Take time to do self care and replenish. Secondly always question how important is it? If your child is stealing food and this is a bother to you remember to question why your child may be exhibiting this behaviour- perhaps your child still believes his or her needs will never be fully met. Imagine the pain of living a life thinking this. It is not a matter of logic- it is a matter of what this child has experienced- neglect, trauma and abuse can lead anyone to a painful existence. Most importantly my message to you is that it can get better- that 6 year old child having a tantrum on your floor may very well become an empathetic adult who helps other that suffer. Teach your kids empathy by showing it- empathy isn't an excuse for bad behaviour and surely teaching a child that actions have consequences is a great idea but remember that good behaviours also cause an affect and that is when you need to validate the most- I wish each of you struggling an amazing start to a new year and hopefully peace of mind knowing things can get better-