A lovely weekend, largely incident free! Yesterday we went shopping - firstly for more new shoes as the weather changed again and the new sandals weren't really suitable, and then on to buy some more clothes - we ended up buying everything other than the one thing we had decided the really both needed!
Joe can often be at the centre of attention and quite the showman, and other times he becomes very withdrawn and really looks for a lot of reassurance, which he did in the shoe shop where he was too shy to walk around to the show the lady his shoes. Several times recently he's told me he's feel shy, which I actually think means sad, or just in need of reassurance.
We popped to the local park in the afternoon to ride on the steam trains which make an appearance half a dozen times a year, and bumped into a good friend. It was so lovely to see our boys playing with hers, even if we did only have 10 minutes to spare.
Today, we had a quiet morning at home and then went over to meet Nanny. Another meeting that went really well, the boys felt really comfortable and the observed precautions were effective in ensuring that I don't think they felt too confused by what was going on. I think Nanny had a lovely time, and got to enjoy a few cuddles, especially from Charlie who is generally less shy than Joe.
We had to explain this morning that Papa's daddy is in heaven, as Joe was asking why he wouldn't be there. That wasn't an easy explanation, although the bluntness of his questioning had to be admired - adults have a lot to learn from kids!
We've only had the children for three weeks. I feel like we've had them their entire lives already, and I find my self staring in amazement sometimes, and really indulging in cuddles and kisses. I love that quiet snuggly time in front of the TV or at bedtime. Sometimes however, you can't help but get wound up by some of their actions, and I sometimes really kick myself, feeling impatient when they are shouting 'Daddy' for the thousandth time in 60 minutes. I remind myself that I've waited a long time, and been through a lot of hoops to hear that name shouted so why should I sometimes feel frustrated or impatient when I hear it? I think because the boys are doing so well with us so far, it's almost easy to forget the trauma they've been through in the last few weeks, I just can't believe how they are adjusting to it all, and I need to remind myself of that when I'm feeling that I need to get on with clearing up rather than playing cars for another hour! That being said, with Joe in particular it's a lot easier to tell when he's reflecting on what's going on, as his frown gives it away.
However, another great weekend which I've loved. I can't believe I only have a week before I have to go back to work, I am not sure I will ever feel ready to leave these guys.
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