Saturday, 28 January 2012

Paperwork paperwork paperwork

Another busy adoption week! No meetings this week, but this week we've received reams of reports to read and approve, most notably, we've been sent our PAR (Prospective Adopters Report) which is the main document that is sent to panel for them to consider approving us. The 60 page document was our social workers write up of her assessment visits with us, and details everything about our history, our relationship, our family and friends and our parenting capacity.

I was nervous about reading our PAR as we've seen lots of comments on adoption forums about people who were unhappy with the way they had been represented, with people saying things along the lines of their social worker taking conversations our of context and just not understanding them. Once it's written, it can be hard to get changed, so it can very much affect the tone of the approval panel.

Fortunately, once again, our super social worker has not let us down! We loved everything she had written and we feel as though she has fully understood us. It's quite amazing the accuracy of everything actually, especially given how many hours of interviews have gone into her gaining the information. It was nice because it was positive, but not sugar coated. She recognised how as well as having very positive lives, we've also dealt with traumas, such as the death of relatives and friends, but that we have dealt with those incidents well and often emerged as stronger people as a result.

I have to say, reading the report, I would give us kids!!

We also got the matching reports, one for both of the boys. These were again, very detailed reports, explaining to panel the history of the boys and an explanation as to why our social workers consider us to be the best available match for the children. All quite emotional, but again, really lovely to read.

This week G has mainly been continuing the prep of the house. The level of work we need to do in the next three weeks is fairly stressing us both - if anyone is any good with a paintbrush and is feeling at a lose end this week, feel free to pop over, G would be happy to set you to work! We've ordered bedding, wallpaper and lots more bits and pieces for the children's rooms, so once the decorating is done, I think we're just about there. We've even ordered name plates for their doors, so panel better say yes!

On Sunday we went to New Family Social, the support group for same sex adopters and families, and it was lovely. It's a year since we first went along as very nervous, green potential adopters who at that stage, hadn't even made our first phone call to social services. This month there were people there for the first time looking as nervous as we did, and it was lovely to be able to share our experiences, as well as of course, chatting to the many couples there with the children, who have become friends full of advise and inspiration. It was also exciting to think that we won't be at the next NFS meeting because it's the week we get the boys, and the following meeting we'll be there with the kids, no doubt running havoc on the soft play equipment!

Okay, quick plug now, NFS have been an absolutely amazing source of support advice and inspiration to us along the way. This week they have launched a fundraising campaign, they need to raise £7k to improve the online member facilities. If you've got a couple of pounds to spare, please donate here

I've got 4000 hits on the blog now, so if each of you could spare a couple of £'s, we would really help them to smash their targets!

Right, back to the decorating for me now. This week our papers will  be submitted to panel, and on Friday we're off to meet the eldest's school teacher - update to follow next weekend!!

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