Sunday, 19 February 2012

Meeting the new school & meeting their new worker

I've been a bit slow at updating the blog this last couple of weeks, that's because we're in full swing of nesting now! Couple of things have taken place though, firstly, last Wednesday we met with the head teacher and SENCO of the eldest's new school. We had a bit of a campaigning to do in order to get a place at our chosen school, as although looked after children get preference, the year group he's joining is already full. We did get the place however and having now met with the school, we could not be happier with our choice. Everything about it felt right, the school felt calm and nurturing, the staff had lots of experience of looked after children and they were so welcoming to G and me. They have plenty of understanding of attachment and seem happy to create a team to look after him, offering to meet with us every few weeks to review his progress. They also engage with Louise Bomber, a renowned attachment expert and that filled us with confidence. Such a relief, it's the first decision we've made for the boys, and we really feel we've made the right one.

On Friday, we had our social worker round to carry out a risk assessment on the house. It was the first time she had been round since Christmas, and having had her here every week for the last quarter of 2011, it was actually really lovely to have her back - felt like an old friend visiting. And we were so excited about showing off the boys new bedrooms which are just about ready for them.

We were also joined by the boy's new social worker. We hadn't met her before, she's only been responsible for the boys since last month, and it was lovely to meet her before panel. She seemed really warm and friendly, and given the fact that we'll be spending a lot of time with her once the children are placed, that's really a good thing! She had met the boys a couple of weeks back and described them very positively, saying how close they seemed to one another, and how much fun they were.

She also told us that the previous day she had spoken to birth mum and told her that the boys had been matched with us and that we have panel on Wednesday. She doesn't approve of us having them, but she really has no say, but she did say that she would like to meet us. It's very raw for her currently, this week she also found out her youngest (1) had also been granted a care order, so the social worker said she's going to do some work with her first, to find out how she will be with us before asking us to go and meet her. It was very strange to be talking about this, we've been so focussed on the boys we had almost forgotten to think about birth mum, and it was a stark reminder of their situation suddenly talking about her again. I think it would be good to meet her, I think it may help the boys in years to come if they know we've met her, and therefore they can ask us questions about her, but I can't say I relish the thought of a meeting with her.

This weekend we've been staying with friends and talking lots about families and the future. It has to be said we've been fairly in demand of late with people fitting in 'last opportunity' get togethers before the boys arrive - I think people are trying to tell us that our social lives are about to be over!

And so, it's rather fitting that this week is the start of the first ever LGBT Adoption week, and on Wednesday we head to the town hall for our concurrent approval and matching panel. Our appointment letter arrived on Friday, we have to be there at 11.50 but we're meeting our social worker at 11am for a coffee so she can try and calm our nerves. The biggest part of the journey so far is now just three days away - I am both excited and incredibly nervous all at the same time, but it will be great to get it over with and then we can start the next chapter of our lives.

Not sure there's going to be much sleep the next couple of nights :-)

Finally, some good friends of ours met their 18 month old son for the first time on Friday, and reports suggest it went very well indeed! Well done guys, we have everything crossed for your new family and send you all our love x

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