Friday, 1 April 2011

We're going public!

Well, we went home last weekend and finally got to break the news to Mum and Dad. As expected, they couldn't have been more supportive. In fact, when I questioned why dad appeared to continue to read his paper after we told them, he commented that it wasn't really a suprise, he always thought we would! We left them with a handbook for potential adoptive grandparents, called 'Related by Adoption' which is published by BAAF (British Assocation for Adoption and Fostering) and is a great two hour read for anyone that's going to be part of our support network.

This is great, as it means we can now be much more open, and we've been enjoying telling friends this week!

Had a good chat with my sister last night. She said that her and mum's only concern, was what would we do if this doesn't happen for us. I think that's a really valid concern, and one that I would expect those that love me (and will have to pick up the pieces!) to have.

I related the situation to my sister in terms of biological parents. I sort of feel that for along time, we've been the couple that have been coming to terms with infertility. Now we've been accepted on to the programme, I sort of feel like we're pregnant! Not physically you understand, what I mean is, we're now starting to live this, we're making plans, getting excited and having visions of our future family life. That's all great, and would be what we were doing if were biologically pregnant. But if you are pregnant, in the back of your mind, you always carry the warning that until that baby has been delivered, a whole host of things could go wrong. I sort of feel that this is where we are at now. We are excited, but we are realistic that things could still not work out.

If for some reason they don't work out, I think it would feel not disimilar to losing a pregancy. I know we will both be devasted, and that it will be hard. But that's no reason to not get excited now. And I also know that we would get through it - we have each other and a strong support network that would help us to come to terms with our disappointment.

So overall, I think we're heading into this with eyes wide open.

I also said to mum on the phone this week, that this isn't a journey we're taking on our own. This is very much an extended family journey! We can't do this without their love and support. G and I have already come to realise that we now have to be more open, honest and upfront with each other than ever before. And I extend this message to my family. If there are worries, concerns or questions, we mustn't hide them for the fear of hurting one another, we have to be open and share. I am certainly happy to answer any questions I can!

Our next appointment is April 15th, and that's a chance to meet the adoption team at Brighton Council. Other than that, there's not much happening now until the end of June prep course, so the blog may be a bit quiet for a while!

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