Sunday, 23 September 2012

Week 28 - Charlie starts school

The major development this week was Charlie's first day at school on Monday. Getting him dressed on Monday was surreal, in his smart white shirt, grey trousers and school tie, he suddenly aged 5 years, and I didn't like it! He still seems such a little boy, it seems wrong to be making him look so grown up!

Charlie started school 45 minutes after Joe for his first day, and we had another meltdown at the gates with Joe who didn't want to go in. We later found out that he said to his teacher that he didn't think it was fair, it was Charlie's turn to come to school, he wanted to spend the day at home with Papa. This confirmed our recent suspicion that his reluctance to go in, isn't because he hates school but because he was jealous of Charlie's time with us.

We took Charlie for a drink before heading back to the gates for 9.30. About 6 children started in each reception class, we took them in, helped him to hang up his PE bag and book bag, and then we were ushered out. Charlie was fine, so excited, it was me and G that had a tear in our eye. As we walked out, we looked back through the window, to see 5 children sat on the carpet waiting for the teacher, and one (cute and smart) little boy taking something apart at the front of the classroom. Gosh I hope his new teacher has patience!

He's just doing half days for the first couple of weeks, and each day has gone really well. We also have no more issues with Joe entering the gates - they have both shot through together each day, which has been a great relief.

On Friday we had a review with both our own social worker and also we met the new social worker that has been assigned to the boys, as theirs has been on sick leave for the last few months. We will continue to have social worker involvement until the completion of the court process. At first the thought of losing social worker involvement was a scary one, but as time passes, we feel that there is less and less that we need, and I certainly feel that by the time we get to court in a few months, we will have crossed all t's etc.

Our social worker has asked us to meet up with another of the couples that she is now assessing, and also to take part in an adoption information day in a couple of months. It's sad I know, but I get very excited at the prospect of waxing lyrical about adoption to people that have to listen!!

This weekend has been lovely. On Saturday I took Joe to football and then Charlie to the park, and then when I collected Joe I also picked up a couple of his classmates and we brought them home for a playdate. I let the boys each make their own pizza and Joe enjoyed playing in his bedroom and on the Wii with his mates. They stayed until about 3 and then at 5 we had a couple that live a couple of doors down, arrive with their 2 children. Again the boys loved having friends in the house and we had a nice meal together, and a few bottles of wine with our neighbours. The boys stayed up late and I put them to bed and stroked their heads until they fell asleep - about 30 seconds in each case!

Today the weather has been foul, so we decided a quiet family day at home was called for. We've done arts and crafts, baking, played games and the boys put on a puppet show for us. We sat and cuddled and watched a film and we did Wii bowling. And it's been a really lovely day. We can really see such a marked difference in the boys this last few weeks. It's things that other people probably wouldn't notice, but to us it's making a massive difference. They are engaging in imaginary play, they are playing with each other, entertaining themselves for short periods, sitting still long enough to watch a film, and they are happy to have a day just bimbling around the house. These are things that wouldn't have happened a month or so ago, and it's making life feel more real. I've loved spending time with them this weekend, it's more relaxing for G and me, and it makes us feel even more like a proper family. I sat at dinner tonight, watching the mayhem going on around me and I couldn't help but smile. Whilst sometimes the old life is fondly thought about, the reality is, we wouldn't swap it for the world, family time today has felt so special, it's not been about the big things, it's just being together, caring for each other and feeling the love.

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