Sunday, 13 May 2012

A busy weekend

Not a huge amount to report from the week that has just passed, everything continues to settle well and the boys have had a good week at school/nursery.

We've had a fun packed weekend. Yesterday we met up for a coffee with the foster carers in the afternoon. It was the first time the boys had seen them for 6 weeks and it was a planned meeting which we told the boys about the night before. Maintaining some contact initially is important for assuring the boys that adults that care for them don't just disappear. The boys were pleased to see them, but not overly clingy to them, it was really just like they were meeting another set of our friends. We had a lovely chat to J&P, and they were delighted to see how well the boys were doing. They said that they could see an obvious change in the boys, and that they had a look of contentment about them which they can never get in foster care. They also saw a difference in speech for Charlie which was nice, as we probably don't really notice when we are with them each day.

They have moved a number of children on to adoption and they say that it appears that this transition has been the best they have seen, which is a real credit to the boys - it makes me very proud and very thankful.

I wasn't sure how the boys would be when it came to say good bye but actually they were unphased by it. They also gave us three photo albums for each of the boys, showing all the things that they had done over their two years with them which will be fantastic when we come to do life story work with them further down the track.

After a quick stop back home for lunch, we headed to the park to meet up with Lucy and Brian and their children who the boys are very fond of, and also another school friend and her children who were visiting for the weekend. I love seeing the children playing with the children of some of the people I have known since my own school days. There's a circle of life kind of thing going on and I sometimes find myself just sitting back and absorbing it with a nice warm feeling inside.

After an ice cream and some more playing, we headed back to Lucy's for a BBQ. We got the boys home and they were exhausted, Joe became uncharacteristically moany and cried a lot, so I got him out of the bath and put him quietly in his room whilst I dried Charlie - he was fast asleep within a minute!

Today we went to the 5th birthday party of the daughter of good friends James and Sarah. She had an animal themed party with a chap that brought all kinds of animals with him, and the boys were surprisingly confident handling cockroaches, stick insects, tarantulas, toads, frogs, a snake, a lizard a hedgehog and even a skunk!

After the party we came home. Joe had some numeracy homework to do which I did with him. It's hard because I don't know how much he should know, my gut feel is that he's quite behind with it, it was a struggle and I realised I don't have the patience to ever be a teacher.

It was a nice family afternoon with a bit of TV some playing outside and giggle and cuddles.

We had tears at dinner time as we once again had to the force the issue of telling the truth. Someone had washed half the contents of a bottle of soap down the sink and when we asked who did it, each one blamed the other. We asked for someone to tell the truth and after about 10 minutes Joe admitted it was him. It's very hard, I find myself escalating some of these situations sometimes and I don't know if I am doing the right thing, but at the same time, he has to know it's not acceptable to play with the soap like that, and also it's not fair for him to blame his younger brother. But the tears and the sad face break my heart and I worry I've taken it too far! At least he gives a damn though, Charlie has a facial expression he uses when he's being told off, which is the equivalent of him stick two fingers up at you!

I've started to hate Sunday evenings, I hate it when the boys go to bed and I realise I have to go back to work tomorrow and leave them behind - I feel like I am missing out.


  1. Just wanted to say that i found your blog a few days ago and have been hooked eversince... Over the past few days you have had me laughing and in tears .. And i must admit more than a tiny bit jealous .. you are where i want to be .... Fingers crossed that one day i'll get there :0)
    Thankyou for sharing your inspiring story ... I Wish you and your new family all the luck and love in the world mx

    1. Thanks Maxx, very kind of you and I am pleased the blog has been of interest. Good luck to you on your journey, I hope it works out for you!