Tuesday, 13 March 2012

Day five of introductions

Today has been a good, but tough and very emotional day. I nearly didn't update the blog tonight, but I've now started to get text and facebook messages asking me where it is! It's very lovely to know that we have lots of people on the journey with us!

For those blog followers that actually know us, and will eventually know the boys, remember that Joe and Charlie are not their real names - hope that doesn't get confusing when you meet them!

This morning started with our arrival at the foster carers home at 7.45 ready for us to get the boys up. The boys were awake, but they stay in their beds until foster mother goes in to get them!

At 8am, G went to get Charlie up and I went to get Joe. I got such a beautiful reaction! I told him last night that we would be waking them up, but they had forgotten, so as I peeked around the door he shouted out 'Daddy!' with glee and jumped out of bed, threw his arms and legs around me and planted a big sloppy kiss on my lips! We had a little cuddle before I took him through to the bathroom where we washed, applied his eczema cream, washed his face and then went back to get dressed. He can dress himself perfectly well, but it's sweet that he wants me to do it for him, but I'm not going to start doing so as we think it's important not to encourage them to regress too much.

We all had breakfast together and then we did some colouring - Papa and I got another picture for the wall! We then set off for what would turn out to be a very emotional day.

First we went to Charlie's nursery for a good bye session. His last day there was last week before intros started, but we went back for the group to say good bye. The theory is that this is done with us present, to show the children that we have a foot both in their past life and their new life. To be fair, Charlie was fairly oblivious to it all, but I really had to fight back the tears as they read aloud the card, and the inscription in the 'hungry caterpillar' book that they had bought him, wishing him lots of luck for his move to his new family. The look of innocence on his face vs the enormity of what lies ahead for such a sweet, young little boy, was heart breaking.

We then went off to a soft play area where the boys had great fun for an hour whilst we sat chatting to J & P and finding out more information about their routines and styles. Then we went to a cafe for lunch where J & P take them a lot, the staff all knew their names, and J was keen for the children to show off their new dads. P found this hard, I think the reality is setting in and I really felt for them both. They have had the little boys for 2.5 years, it's a long time and I know they are going to miss them terribly.

Next we went to Joe's school for a similar good bye session. We went to his classroom where all the children gathered and sat on the floor around him. He looked so little and so forlorn, you could see the anxiety written across his face. The teacher gave him a magic tricks set and a teddy and a card, as well as a photo album of his time at the school and a picture of every pupil in the class. He then went round and hugged and kissed every one of them, and they each gave him a drawing they had done for him. He was quite the celebrity. A couple of the children were visibly upset to be saying goodbye, and G and I were having to look away to avoid breaking down in front of him. He gave J a big hug for reassurance. We then went on to say goodbye to a couple of other teachers, and I really could tell it was now too much, he didn't cry, but he was clearly distressed. My heart was bleeding for him, but I was pleased that he came to me for a big hug of reassurance a couple of times - it's a good sign if we can settle him and reassure him.

To be fair to him, he was fine as soon as we got back to the car, and we drove home and played with his magic set.  The boys were tired and a bit hyper, so G suggested that we call it a day and leave them for some down time with J & P which I agreed with. We sat down with the boys to explain that tomorrow we wouldn't be seeing them as they are going to go and have a good bye session with their older half sisters and their social worker. But we promised to phone them before bed time to say goodnight. We also told them that the next time we saw them would be at our house on Thursday when they would be coming for lunch with J & P.

We asked them to select one toy each for us take home to put in their new bedrooms. Joe chose his favourite book and Charlie his choo choo train.

With that we left, pleased with the way the day had gone, but emotionally and physically drained.

We got home just after three, and did a few bits and pieces. I popped round to see a good friend of mine to drop off a birthday present for her little boy, and surprised myself by bursting in to tears when she hugged me hello! Oops!

Tonight we've put the finishing touches to their rooms, and we've framed a picture of them and put it in our lounge so that they can see that we've been thinking of them when they come round on Thursday.

So now I need to do a menu plan for the week ahead so that I can finish our internet food shopping order and then it's off to bed.

No blog update tomorrow unless our phone call is significant as tomorrow is a rest day, and I have to work all day. That's going to be a strange reality check, I've only been off for a couple of days but these last few days have been longer than any I've ever known - work seems like a long time ago - hope I can remember what to do!!

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